The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
//So God made Eve, right?
Nope, read your Bible. God made animals. Lots of them, and paraded them before Adam, so Adam could choose one for a “helper.” Picture it: Along comes the giraffe. “Uh-uh.” The hippo. “Forget it.” The snake. “Ewww.”
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
And Adam said, “Yowza!” Well, ok, he really just mutters something about bones and flesh, but he seems happy. Adam spurns the giraffe, the hippo, the snake, and chooses the woman. What do you suppose happens next?
The ol’ snake comes back, in an apparent jealous rage. He targets Eve, feeds her an evil apple, and Eve feeds Adam. Their eyes are opened to know good and evil. Now Adam says “Yowza!” Lo: Along came children, and the earth is populated.
I absolutely love this story! Religion was so much more fun back in those days, while God still wandered in His garden calling for His humans. Before God grew omni-everything and the snake grew satanic. Gimme that old-time religion!
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