If
two Israelite men get into a fight and the wife of one tries to rescue
her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, you must cut off
her hand. Show her no pity.
//This may seem like a strange law, but it's actually a very important deterrent. Deuteronomy 23:1 explains that if a man's testicles
are crushed, he is no longer admitted to the assembly of the LORD.
Nor, adds Leviticus 21:20, may any man with such a defect approach God
with a food offering.
It
appears manliness is next to Godliness, and it won't do to have women
running around grabbing at stuff. Damaged man-organs rank up there on
God's list of abominations with hunchbacks, dwarves, illegitimate
births, and missing eyes. In God's world, testes are important even on
animals; Leviticus 22:24 cautions against offering an animal
with damaged testicles as a sacrifice.
However, it may not pay to become too
richly endowed, either. Such men may prove too much of a temptation for
Godly women, according to Ezekiel, chapter 23 … in language I dare not
repeat here.
More on this tomorrow, on a more serious note, but for today, guys, the best advice might be to keep your jeans on.
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