When David returned home to bless his household,
Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of
Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the
slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"
//King David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant home to Jerusalem when
the oxen stumbled, and a fellow named Uzzah reached out to steady the
Ark. Immediately, God smote him, and David grew angry. And probably a
bit nervous. He left the Ark with another fellow named Obed-Edom, and
went home without it.
Presumably,
Obed was smart enough not to touch the thing, so instead, the Ark’s
mere presence brought him blessing. When David heard that Obed prospered
because of the Ark, David went back after it.
They
loaded it up and took six steps, enough for David to prove that God
wasn't in a smiting mood anymore, so David rejoiced and sacrificed a
bull and a fat calf. Wearing a linen ephod (which is like an apron, with
no back), he "danced before the Lord with all his might." He was still
leaping and dancing when they arrived with the Ark in Jerusalem.
This
shameful happy-dance nauseated Michal, Saul’s daughter, who was
watching out a window. When she confronted King David, he shrugged it
off, insisting that the slave girls continued to hold him in high honor.
So
which side did God take? The happy naked dancer or the prude? The Bible
says Michal was stricken with barrenness, and never had a child until
the day she died.
The
Bible never does say why, though. I suppose we’re supposed to understand
God took David’s side and cursed her womb, but her barrenness probably
had more to do with her prudishness…which can tend to have an effect on whether one bears children!
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